When T.V. Personalities Attack!!!

Dear God,

My sister (crumpets) was born on Nov. 1st and my father (Papa) was born on Nov. 5. As a Present this year my mother (Mom) decided to fly everyone out to New York to visit crumpets. The fact that my brother (Telly) and I were going to be there was a surprise for Papa. Let me tell you the surprise went off with a bang!! He was so shocked and happy that we were there.
All in all the weekend was going very well, We went out for some great meals, we had great conversations over drinks and then one morning (Saturday the 3rd to be exact)...(or I guess it was lunch to most people) we went to this Italian restaurant. The family had all been staying at different places over the weekend, I was staying at my friend Verena's house while my parents were at a Hotel and my siblings were at Crumpets house. Verena lives quite close to the restaurant that we ate at so surprisingly we were the first to arrive, which was kind of annoying because then she and I were in charge of putting in the name and neither of us knew how many people were coming so it was all very uncomfortable with the stupid hostess until the GM came up and handled it all with ease and patience. Verena and I stumbled to the back of the restaurant to seat ourselves at the table. As I finally settled myself in I looked across the room at the only table sitting in the back area and was overwhelmed with excitement...and fear. I turned to Verena and said "Don't look now, but Laurie and George from Real Housewives of Orange County are sitting at the table behind us".
The reason I was so excited was because I had just been watching a marathon of the show a couple days prior to this event, but the reason I was scared was because I was so taken aback by how horrible she looked. I mean...you sit there looking at her knowing she is human being but you just can't see that...her face has been mangled around so much that all I really see is that creepy face that Alec Baldwin makes in Beetlejuice. Her Hair is blonder than most and (maybe its because of the product she uses in her hair) her head is way too large. I mean she must have to get up pretty early to get herself ready because there was way too much time and care put into something that just doesn't please my eye.
Eventually Telly arrived and, like me, felt like he had been hit in the face with a sledge hammer as he cast his first gaze upon her. As he sits down next to me he whispers "I shouldn't have sat on this side because now I wont stop looking at her...But then again even if she weren't famous I would be looking at her horrible plastic surgery".
Laurie sat on her phone for a good 15 minutes while George sat there staring off into space (and sometimes over at our table), and then they finally left.
I was left wishing that the Real Housewife I had seen would be Vicki because then I would have definitely gone over to say something to her because after all...I do LOVE that show.